Tag: humor

Watching What You Eat?

For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. The Chinese drink...

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Heaven and Hell

While walking down the street one day a corrupt Senator was tragically hit by a car and died. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. “Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so...

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Drunken Diction

Things that are difficult to say when drunk: Innovative Preliminary Proliferation Cinnamon Things that are very difficult to say when drunk: Specificity Anti-constitutionalistically Passive-aggressive disorder Transubstantiate Things that are downright impossible to say when drunk: No thanks, I’m married. Nope, no more booze for me! Sorry, but you’re not really my type. Taco Bell ? No thanks, I’m not hungry....

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Work

We are in trouble… The population of this country is 300 million. 160 million are retired. That leaves 140 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school. Which leaves 55 million to do the work. Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government. Leaving 15 million to do the work. 2.8 million are in...

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