Tag: humor

Dead duck (groaner warning!)

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, “I’m so sorry, your pet has passed away.” The distressed owner wailed, “Are you sure?” “Yes,...

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Air Force One

George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are flying on Air Force One. Bush turns to Cheney and says, chuckling, “You know, I could throw a $1000 bill out the window right now and make someone very happy.” Cheney shrugs and replies, “Well, I could throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten people happy.” Not to be...

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Welcome to New California

Dear Red States: We’re ticked off at the way you’ve treated California, and we’ve decided we’re leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we’re taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren’t aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the entire Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the...

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